Life Lessons Gleaned from Video Games

- Always check behind waterfalls. There's always something cool back there.
- It's generally best to shoot anyone you see. You usually can't hurt people unless they're your enemies.
- Never try to do anything, cooperatively or competitively, with strangers unless you want to be called by many vile and contradictory racial and sexual slurs.
- There are some things in life you can't control, like yourself during cut scenes.
- There is no reason not to break anything that can be broken.
- If you talk to people for more than 30 seconds, they start repeating themselves.
- If you're ever lost and directionless, with no idea what to do with your life, look up the walk-through on the internet.

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